12 Things [I Think] The Boyfriend Never Wants To Hear Me Say

From less scary to Child’s Play scary:

12. Quick, what size am I?

11. I just finished another book, do you want to hear me discuss it?

10. Just to check if you were paying attention: what was I saying last night right before you fell asleep?

9. Oh you can eat some of my fries… [3 minutes later:] Dude! Don’t eat my fries!!

8. Do I look fat in these skinny skinny one-size-smaller-than-normal jeans? Tell me the truth.

7. Hey, remember our stove…

6. Hey, remember that cat I wanted…

5. Hey, remember your MacBook Pro…?

4. I fell. Again.

3. Hey do you want to watch “Requiem For A Dream”?

2. Do you mind if I make cookies for dinner?

1. How do you say x in Spanish? What do you do with this? What’s that? How do people in the US do this? What are people thinking? Did you know that…? Hey what do you think this means? Hey did you hear about this? Are you listening? You never listen!!

The best/worst/weirdest thing is that Jason has certainly been through all these human exploration statements at least once a day for the past two years, and I’m still alive. Give this man an applause.